Originally Posted by Flear
Infinite, ... the alternative is to walk away so you can be around what your comfortable with and the other person can continue to be themselves.
Absolutely. Or not even walk away - you could choose to shift your relationship to one of friendship and your former partner could find somebody else to have a family with.
But I'm kind of confused. Didn't you start this thread by saying?
i don't get it that people try to say "i love you, so i have to limit you and your happiness, and you better like it, or else i'll stop wanting to be with you"
So I assumed that you wouldn't 'get it' that a person might say to a partner, I love you but if you decide that you need to do x (i.e. have a baby, get a dog, join the army, have other sexual partners) in order to be happy, I'll stop wanting to be with you.
It seems to me that people make the choices they make with approaches to relationships for a variety of reasons and it is entirely possible that some people may choose a particular relationship style at a particular time in their life just because it feels right for them and not necessarily because they are insecure/selfish/deficient in some way and need to work on that.