Thread: Polyfidelity
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Old 02-04-2010, 05:01 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
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Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
We have a big enough social network that there are lots of women he can meet & date that I wouldn't need to "meet" in any particular way because I'm likely to know her from sports or parties, or wherever: I'm just thinking of people who are strangers to me but that he knows from school or work... it feels very uneven, because he already has a basis for knowing if it would work for him, and whether they would likely "click", but I don't. I'm not trying to be picky, I really want to know that she'll respect me, come to care for me, and have good communication skills. That last one is something HB doesn't tend to look for... and I think it will make a huge difference.
Hi Seasnail,

Your approach seems pretty reasonable to me - as long as there's some flex there to accommodate the realities like scheduling etc. We approach things much the same way-although maybe a bit more liberal because of our experience.
One thing you might consider that we find beneficial to speed that connection with all process along, is to encourage & use the various mediums when it's practical and a face-to-face is proving complicated. We encourage contact by phone, email etc to try to get everyone getting to know each other ASAP when we run into scheduling problems. For us it works good. If we trust someone enough to be considering a relationship we certainly can trust them with a phone # and email. It's not as good as face-to-face but it does serve to underline everyone's sincerity until we can all get our schedules juggled around.
Just a thought.......

The sex thing for us isn't much of a discussion topic - but that's just us. We know and trust each other enough from experience to believe good judgment will be exercised. The only thing we insist on is openness. But that's no challenge either because we know there's no basis to hide anything.

Good luck - don't hurry.

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