yes it's easier to push away the source of the pain, ... but isn't the source of every pain we go through our own insecurities ??? ... how do you push that away and think "this is going to help me cope in life"
times i've had difficulties, i may point my fingers for a bit, then i realize "wait, hold on a sec. i'm either causing the issues, or i'm not doing something that is the cause of the issues", then i've gotta apologize and do what's needed ... change what i'm doing.
often this is easy as i when i realize what i was or wasn't doing that was getting to me i then also know exactly what i should or should not be doing to make everything better.