sea-I think it's important to really delve into the reasons each person wants any given right/rule in these situations.
We changed our boundary list dozens of times just writing it. It's been 2 months-no major change in dynamics and no new prospects, but we're ready to rewrite our boundary list because there have been so many amazing insites between the three of us-that some of the rules/rights are no longer valid in light of "who we are".
Have you two discussed your (and his) reasons for wanting/not the meet first or "whenever"?
I know for us we made the agreement that new prospects would be told ON THE FIRST DATE about each of us and our dynamic and that as of the first date any one of us has the RIGHT to ask to meet the other person at any time-therefore we must let the "date" know that after date one, they will be meeting the 'others' sometime soon.
However-that may or may not happen prior to the second date, depends on availability, time, etc. Not a big deal. BUT we also agreed that we won't take a relationship to a sexual level (knowing we all three tend to get emotionally attached and involved-so if we're going to sex we're going for relationships) without having met. So if there isn't a chance for "date" to meet us before date 2,3,4,5 etc, there also is no sex with them....
BUT -this is a VERY personal choice and every person/couple/family has to decide for themself what works for them.
"Love As Thou Wilt"