by Pema Chodron has helped me a lot with my loneliness and neediness issues. Just quoting one paragraph here, but the whole article is well worth the read. I like her distinction between the 'hot' loneliness that needs a fix, and 'cool' loneliness that is actually a completely new way of thinking.
Usually we regard loneliness as an enemy. Heartache is not something we choose to invite in. It's restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company. When we can rest in the middle, we begin to have a nonthreatening relationship with loneliness, a relaxing and cooling loneliness that completely turns our usual fearful patterns upside down.
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf