Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten
lol marcus, i actually chuckled in my office. I dont think he has a condition...too many drugs in the 80s? I guess the thing is im annoyed he doesnt realize his marriage kind of sucks, I suppose I can just wait for him to figure it out and ignore it...or leave. or date him while he never figures it out.
My SO was relatively inexperienced in regards to deep relationships with women when he met his soon to be ex. His mother, and his first deep relationship both were emotionally volatile. So when he met his soon to be ex and she was emotionally volatile, he assumed that was just the nature of women. Then he met me - logical, even-tempered, emotionally stable. Before he met me, he didn't like certain aspects of the relationship with his wife, but figured it would be the same with any woman. Meeting me, he learned how mistaken he had been in that supposition. And so began his attempts with his wife to modify her mood management and control her temper. She didn't want any part of that. Eventually, he left. It took him about 18 months to work through the entire process.
It may be that your bf is beginning such a journey. I don't know what his suppositions are about women and behavior, but you are obviously providing him a different picture. I imagine his wife's behavior makes him pretty sad. And he talks to you about it because he trusts you, and he is trying to make sense of the differences.
While I don't think it is at all necessary that you hang with the wife, or engage her in any way, it is up to you the level of support you want to give your bf in regard to his issue with his wife. I know you are thinking it is all very cut and dried - she is treating him like crap - coming to terms with that emotionally is a whole 'nother thing.