View Single Post
Old 07-22-2013, 03:07 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,341

So yes, wine is definitely a heck of a motivator, but now I'm stuck in the same place I remember being in back in the High School English class days: Where to start?

I suppose "at the beginning" is a good answer, but logical, anal-retentive me also doesn't want to lose track of the present due to it all queueing up as I write down all the old stuff, so maybe some old and some new... let's see how much of a novel I write before committing to anything.

Ha, look - not only do you get a story, but you get my stream-of-consciousness that goes with it. Lucky you.

The present:
Had a pretty good weekend with P, his daughter, and my kids. They were up on Saturday, and we ended up hanging out at home for a while, seeing Despicable Me at the local "Cinema Pub" (, and doing some impromptu karaoke with the kids using a cheap mic we found at the local Habitat for Humanity store (like a Goodwill for house stuff!), a mic stand, small amp, and YouTube karaoke videos. The kids "wanted to sing" "Don't Stop Believing" and then bailed and left us children of the '80s to finish the song ourselves. Luckily, we didn't have the cops called on our caterwauling. All in all, a good time. It was a nice "family" moment, and I do treasure those.

On the flip side, we had some cruddy communication issues fairly recently as well.

When we started this relationship (and I guess the details will end up getting written about at some point, but not today), we put a schedule in place where he spends half his time down south with M1, and half his time up with me. Two days north, two days south. I didn't feel I could work toward a "life partner" type of relationship with him without having that amount of time, and it took us a while to get there, but we're pretty much there now.

Sometimes, though, things pop up and the calendar needs some shuffling around.

And sometimes, with his schedule, his daughter's schedule, M1's schedule, my schedule, and my kids' schedule, it is immensely frustrating for me to either want some weekend time, or need to reschedule something, and not be able to find any way of doing it. I have, at times, gotten into poopy little funks about P not being able to attend such-and-so with me, simply because something else is going on that day. Yeah, I know I'm responsible for my own feelings. Yeah, I know it's still leftover expectation from when I was married (of course we'll go together). Still, it sucks to have an occasion I'd like to have him attend, and have him be unable to do so.

So the latest one is my company's family outing. It coincided with a "south" day for him, and a con in Providence that he is looking forward to attending (NecronomiCon). However, when I brought it up as a possible "swap day" for some other calendar rewickering that was going on, he kind of hemmed and hawed and didn't really say that he wouldn't swap. Just said, "let me see."

I asked about it again on Friday, and he said no, he wanted to go to the con instead. And for some reason, it really tweaked me. (A) because if it had been a 'no' from the start, then just. effing. tell me. And (B), and it took a bit of introspection to realize why I was so bothered by it, but I finally nailed down that this is one of my few "family traditions" (most were my ex-husband's) and I wanted to have him there, as part of this new family/life that we're building.

So I sent him an email explaining why I thought I was so tweaked, understood that he wanted to go to the con, told him that I (sincerely) don't want to coerce him into doing something he didn't want to do, and that since the con really is one of "his" things (and that he and M1 were planning to go together), I'm cool with him going, but I'd like in the future for there to be a shot of us doing the "family thing", since we both seem to want that.

End of story, I was prepared to get tix for me and my girls, and that was that.

So I get an email in response saying, "Hold tight. I'm working on changing the schedule."

Oh, no no no no no... wait a minute.

So NOW I'm feeling guilty, like I played a trump card or something with the "family" word and changed his mind, and didn't really want to do that. So, we went around and around on that for a bit, me saying I don't want to coerce him by throwing down a trump card, and him saying that he doesn't get steered by me or anyone, and now that he has the information, he's choosing to make a different decision.

Okay. So now he's coming to the outing. I guess it worked out okay, since the night before has a ball that he and M1 now get to attend instead of his being north with me that night, but I still hate that nagging feeling that I've dorked up her plans as well as his. I guess I should send her something too, and see how she feels about it all.

Then he and his daughter came up on Saturday, and it felt nice and relaxed and just GOOD. And I realized I can still hold SOME of the Steve Perry notes, at any rate. <fist pump>

Guess that's enough of a novel right out of the gate... got some new and some backstory in there, so until next time, have a great day, folks!

Last edited by YouAreHere; 07-22-2013 at 03:08 PM. Reason: typos
Reply With Quote