Thread: Sex?
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Old 02-03-2010, 06:53 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
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Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
This is the part I take issue with. This is as much an assumption as the idea that poly is really an excuse to cheat. While I might be able to accept that people who only have sex as part of a loving relationship are in the minority, I must argue that your statement that it is a dependency or that it is due to repression of sexuality sounds more like judgement. My experience has been that people who say that they can only have sex as part of a "deep, loving relationship" are just like everyone else--some of them are actually repressing due to societal expectations, and some of them really mean it and are being factual.

You seem like a nice person, GS, why the judgement? It makes it harder for others to accept us if we go around telling them that their way of life is wrong and ours is right and they must live our way or be judged.
Gosh Lemon ! I'm sorry !
Damn language thing. You have to be SO careful (and I usually am) how you word things. You assume sometimes that who you are talking to has more-or-less the same background, been exposed to the same debates & studies etc because they are engaged in the conversation. BIG failing on my part here. {{spank}}

There's no judgement whatsoever in the statement you quoted or others. It just is what it is. The facts surrounding sexual repression are well established. I AM going to continue to 'assume' you too are aware of all that. If not please say so !
So to try to word it differently for clarity I might say that some people have chosen their preferred sexuality out of self awareness and their views on personal morality etc. And some have not. They've never done the deep self analysis, never really studied human sexuality, and have simply accepted the pre-programming they've received.
Am I an advocate of that study ? Absolutely !
So if there were to be any 'judgment' it could only be directed at one's functioning in a robotic, puppet mode of existence. And I WOULD judge that as 'sad'.
But in regards to sexuality - if anyone has done their homework and has come down on one side of the fence or the other - there's noting TO judge !
Does that help ?

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