Thread: Quad Family
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Old 02-03-2010, 04:56 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
First...I'm calling my husband Easy
I did feel a little envious of Asha and Easy. They're so comfortable with each other, but I often feel like Sunday just doesn't know what to do with me. He assures me that that isn't true, that he's just very introverted, but I still can't help wishing that he would kiss me or otherwise show affection for me like Easy does for Asha. I pointed out to Sunday that they openly kiss each other hello and goodbye, and I said that I would like that for us. He indicated that he didn't know if he'd feel comfortable with that.
Hi Lemondrop,

Love your chosen name for your husband.

But regarding you & Sunday and public - or general - affection.
I absolutely understand your feelings and desire for more open affection. But I think you have to be a little careful in how you approach this - and your hopes and expectations. There's always a variety of little personality quirks, insecurities, background etc in different people that we might wish were different - or absent. But we love them just the same and and least for me, I've always been a bit cautious about trying to push people out of their comfort zones (imagine that !). I don't want anyone to feel they have to restructure their basic selves to please me. Does that make sense ? Doing that can actually exacerbate the problem, make them more self conscious, more uncomfortable. Maybe that's what you are picking up when you mention Sunday 'doesn't seem to know what to do with you'
To use your example, how I might react to that might be along the lines of pointing out their (Asha & Easy) open affection and saying."awwww - isn't that sweet" - and letting it go at that. And don't be hesitant to 'lead the charge' yourself. Grab him & plant one on him ! It's more of a way of expressing your COMFORT with that approach so he knows YOUR position but no pressure for him to adopt it unless he's ready.
Some people - especially guys - just have been programmed to reserve open affection and it takes a while to recognize that programming and see that it's OK to be more openly affectionate. Look out once the floodgates open though


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