Originally Posted by Marcus
...I simply ask for what I want and don't discuss emotional ramifications or complications surrounding the request.
Oh, I get emotional. I'm not British!
If miss pixi and I havent had sex in 2 weeks and haven't done any satisfying kink in months, I will definitely feel emotions around it, and that will show in my voice. Hopefully I address it before I get too frustrated, but sometimes I feel compassion for her not wanting to sex me because of all she is dealing with in her life, and so I try to be patient and wait... sometimes she comes back to me without me saying something, but sometimes I do have to bring it up and request more attention, so sometimes our discussion can be heated.
I just still try and use "I statements", never call her names, or curse. Usually she will also get upset, a bit defensive. But we know to take a break, to give her time to consider... Soon, I get an apology, and then my needs met in short order. Shen tends to get wrapped up in her own issues and take me a wee bit for granted.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 42, M (dating since Oct 2015)