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Old 07-21-2013, 02:23 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Mya View Post
Do I need my partners? I don't think I do. I want to be with them. I've always thought this is a good thing. My friend talked about her past relationships and what has gone wrong in them. She believes she has made her partners "useless" by being so independent and un-needy, which in turn has made the partner in question feel not needed or very important. She knows there's a big risk in relying on someone but thinks she wants to do that the next time she's in a relationship. She wants to need her partner more. I don't know if I'm being realistic or cynical when I think that most relationships end at some point and you shouldn't give too much of yourself to anyone else. I don't ever want to be in a situation where I'd want to break up with someone but I can't because I'm too dependent on them. Is that a bad thing? Am I protecting myself too much? Could I get more out of my relationships emotionally if I just trusted people more, gave them more of myself and relied on them more?
It sounds like your friend is struggling with her own issues and questioning how she is in relationships - but don't take on her self-doubts or think that her issues are your issues, too! Misery loves company, and people who are not feeling successful in a certain area of their lives (her), will often subconsciously plant seeds of doubt with the people they know are doing quite well (you) the same in area (relationships). You're fine. Have you gotten any complaints from any of your lovers? I doubt it. I've always admired how well you handle your relationships. Don't second guess yourself or give in to your friend's insecurities - they aren't yours.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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Last edited by nycindie; 07-21-2013 at 02:26 AM.
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