Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
As you practice this more on a day-to-day basis, trust builds. And this trust that you build has a feeling of being much more real & solid. Not so much built on 'assumptions'- untested. Real bonds - tested in the fire. Good stuff.
My HB tends to get very offended when he thinks I am having difficulties trusting him. It can be hard to talk openly with him at those times, and sometimes I feel so frustrated - yes, things are different now, but those "hooks" do remain. Yes, they're getting smaller and fewer, but I wish he could be more patient with me when a sudden bout of panic comes up. I wish he would acknowledge that he is partly responsible for the breaches in trust. I wish it were more obvious to me that he sees how much I and we have grown rather than how slowly we're moving towards his ideal of poly. I wish for the day when he can & does make a judgement call about cuddling or kissing with someone based on my need at the moment rather than because we've negotiated it.
On the other hand, good stuff is that I've arranged a surprise visit with his GF for this weekend for his birthday, and I'm truly excited for him!