Is it wrong to hate the fact he doesn't seem hurt anymore by this. I know he might be and feels he can't show it (Lamian would get upset and huge feels he needs to be strong for me) but i can't stop hating that he can seem not in pain.
I also hate how I'm coping or trying to. I know i can't sore my pain if she's home because either she'll see it as manipulative or they will have possible problems because he won't be able to comfort me. Then she leaves and I sink. Feel like I can't talk to him because of possible problems. Can't explain to Woodsmith why I'm so distraught because he doesn't really understand why I hurt so much or how to help me feel better. Any time I accidentally touch Primal I jerk away if Lamian is home because I no longer feel I can show affection in front of her. Then I don't necessarily want to be touched so he stays pulled away after.
Maybe tomorrow when I get a chance too talk with him about a need I have now with all these changes I can start to feel better.
Need is that with the loss of the master slave dynamic, the much more serious talk of us all no longer living together, and the above about touch I need a guarantee that we will have two days for ourselves and one of those will be a day neither works so we have all day. And honestly the only time I'll be okay with that not happening one week is if one of us is out of town. I can't do this without that.
Woodsmith: My husband
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub