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Old 07-19-2013, 11:02 PM
wildflowers wildflowers is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Boston area
Posts: 201

Originally Posted by Mya View Post
Do I need my partners? I don't think I do. I want to be with them. I've always thought this is a good thing. My friend talked about her past relationships and what has gone wrong in them. She believes she has made her partners "useless" by being so independent and un-needy, which in turn has made the partner in question feel not needed or very important.
Do you not need them by choice, or just because that's the way you are? I tend to see wanting, not needing, as being indicative of strength and self-sufficiency, but not necessarily as a sign of having erected defenses or being cynical.

Re your friend's experience, couldn't there be other ways than need of making a partner feel important?

I think Fuchka's examples have more to do with a level of commitment/expectations than want/need per se. They're still questions that seem worth thinking about, but I think your life could be very interwoven with someone elses and you could still not be emotionally needy.
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