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Old 07-19-2013, 03:38 PM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Terra Nullius
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Originally Posted by Mya View Post
Could I get more out of my relationships emotionally if I just trusted people more, gave them more of myself and relied on them more?
You could make analogies to other things. A shelter, for example. You could pack a tent, and know how to move quickly, not relying too much on the same piece of ground. Or you can take a risk and lay down foundations, and see what can be supported by that... As long as you are flexible enough to roll with things, if what you've built tumbles.

I reckon you can be interdependent by choice, which is different from being dependant or co-dependant because you're unable to go it alone.

I like the power of choosing to rely on someone, and to be relied upon. I'm not sure if it's better, necessarily, than loose affiliations with lower expectations. But it does change the nature of what you can grow from that relationship.

Yes, it's a risk but it doesn't have to be a huge risk (esp if you have the experience and confidence in being self-reliant, if need be.) Voluntary interdependence can be simply just another experiment. What happens if we assume this will last for the indefinite future? What happens if we just state, declare, concede, that breaking up is not an option? (Although we know, we know, it always is. And things can always change).

To "need" someone could mean:
- I seriously can't cope without you around. Without you in my life I will go insane. No one but you can hold me up. etc or
- You are irreplaceable. I need you in my life to grow and live the way I'm doing. I want you around, and I need my connection with you to enable and unlock me the way that you do, in the way that I desire. Without you, my life would be much different, and in many aspects poorer. etc

The first would freak me out. But the second works for me, in some of my relationships, and I think it's safe enough to try at home Good luck!
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