i've never had something challenging like this before.
looking to expand my family like this. well children do that, but that's in a different way.
i've had easier times trying to teach myself calculus, till progress was too slow and i was too impatient, ... seems about where most of my failing to learn come from, i'm too impatient to get to the end.
can't do that with people.
can learn all kinds of stuff on my own, can learn numbers, and languages and psychology, computer programming (even the more basic ones like assembly), history, environmental & biological interactions ... all kinds of things.
finding & meeting people who can say "ya, i get you" ... yup, can do that online, :/
in person, not so much it seems.
i'm not used to not knowing what i'm doing.