Thread: figuring it out
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Old 07-17-2013, 06:16 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Flear-

I live my life openly married and living with my husband and boyfriend. MANY PEOPLE don't ask. Many people say "your brother..." and I correct them, "my boyfriend.."

When I meet new people, which happens frequently at school, I am friendly and social. If THEY bring alternative relationships up in any manner I am honest and open about being in alternative relationships (this does happen frequently as it's a hot topic in my degree subject). If we get along well socially, I invite them to a social gathering that includes my partners-and introduce them.
When I attend events at school, I bring one or both of my partners. Over the course of a semester, people see me with two different men that I hold hands with, kiss, cuddle up to etc. I introduce them by name.

If someone expresses a romantic or sexual interest in me-they already know I have a family-cause I talk about my family all of the time.
What did you do this weekend?
"Maca, GG and the kids took me out for my birthday"
"GG and I celebrated our anniversary"
"Maca and I went to play pool"
"we stayed home as a family and watched movies"
"we played with the grandkids"
I frequently show pictures from my phone to people I have just met, of those nearest and dearest to me.

At no point does any of this include me bringing up "polyamory" or "open relationships".
But it almost always leads to them bringing it up by asking "your husband and your boyfriend live with you?"
I respond with yes.

I find that the people who don't struggle with this issue-are the ones who just go about life assuming they every day they will meet new people and they will show those people their real selves.
Then-in the process of life, some of those people will find them interesting enough to warrant additional conversations and some of THOSE people will develop feelings of care and concern and some of THOSE will become dating options.

The ones who struggle-tend to be searching for someone to date.
(do you see the difference?)

When we seek connections with people in general-we find people to date. When we seek only people to date, we often never find them because we aren't open enough for most people to connect with.
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