So we met all three of us for the first time. The guys met each other for the first time. It could not have gone better: they got along instantly, had a lot to talk about, were polite and nice towards each other and me... The weather was perfect, we had some nice food... And obviously this meeting gave us all some food for thought.
I myself was so happy to see both my loves in the same space, enjoying themselves. Jeez, I love them soooo
It was harmonious, peaceful, beautiful. Definitely one of the best moments of my life.
The guys both have been thinking afterwards. To them this was the first time the poly-ness of this situation was really realized. Until now it had been somewhat abstract to both of them... It was just me shuttling between these two destinations and being all the time absent to one of them. Now they saw the other reality of my life that they did not know before.
CJ showed real interest in the projects me and Mark have in the garden and in and around the property. Not like he would want to be involved but more than just general politeness. He told me he enjoyed Mark’s company and found it easy to talk with him about basically everything and anything. More than that he has not told me, but he will... it takes time to process.
Mark, on the other hand, has had a lot going through his head - and he already told me some of it. He wants to make some more detailed plans considering our future and wants to include CJ in the planning. Not rushing to anything, but anyway. I find this a good idea, that we should have three-way negotiations: sit down all three of us and discuss things that are important. And, it would be a good idea to start it before there are any problems and make it a routine.
This is not the first time I find my mono lover be more poly-minded than many people who call themselves poly. He was talking about both him and CJ getting their needs met, as well as me not getting exhausted in the pressure of having two partners. Meaning that they should and will take care of me and have my needs met. I sensed that Mark actually has some wishes (either wants or needs) that he has not dared to express yet, and is planning to address them when he gets the opportunity. And, as far as I know, he has not been reading any poly-related books or websites or anything. This leads me to think that managing poly relationships you do not need more than general good communication skills and some emotional IQ.