Originally Posted by naturalblue
Are you always a jerk? I thought this was supposed to be a community for understanding and advice, not snide comments and belittling. Considering your solution was to break up with my husband, I'm not sure how mine is any less adult. Right now I know that if I were to talk to her, I would not be able to control my emotions and would be very mean - so yes, I do think it is more adult to avoid that until I'm less angry.
I read your responses to other threads as well and frankly I'm beginning to wonder why anyone comes here for advice. All I see you do is tear people down for not going about poly the exact way that you do. And don't worry, I won't be taking any of your advice.
You can always set someone to ignore. Click on their name -> profile -> Action (I think) -> add to my ignore list
That way you won't see their posts.
Also Just imagine the negative people as a balance. There always has to be that side, its impossible to get rid of. With 25 years experience on bbs's and forums, as an admin/owner/mod.. they are part of the community, as much as they sometimes need to be ignored.
And.. something to consider, one persons negative is another persons realistic. There could be someone reading his posts and gtting a lot out of them. The cynics have their fans sometimes too, even though their posts can sometimes seem like a slap across the face.
As for the post, I haven't read must in this thread, but my take is a bit hard line. When I get involved with someone, I am also getting involved with their partners. Its VERY hard to delineate the two. So.. that said, I don't settle for a crappy metamour. If I have to be involved with someone I don't like, I don't get involved. I have to at the very least be able to tolerate and accept the metamour.. Toxic behaviour is unacceptable.
Besides what does that partner selection tell you about your partner? Thats something else that comes to my mind when a perfectly nice person is with someone toxic. Partner selection skill is important in long term non-monogamy.