Communication, a double edged sword.
I have read through a few books now on polyamory and I've delving deep in these and other online message boards. Everything has been saying to communicate, communicate, communicate. However, it seems that every time I open my mouth I need to stick my foot in it. Every time I try to broach a sensitive issue that is emotionally affecting me I get shoved in the dog house. My wife and I have been married for seven years now, and we have been poly for about 2 months. However during our time together I have always been the emotionally stable one, the one that was able and willing to compromise. Now that she is in the throes of NRE and I'm an emotional wreck, I'm not getting the compassion I need back to make it through this.
So what I'm considering doing (and had to sneak into her email to undo before she read my retardedness again), is laying the communication cards at her feet and stepping away. I will not ask about her weekends with her boyfriend (although my imagination is going to drive m nuts) she can tell me only what she wants to share, I will not volunteer any of my emotional bullshit that is going on unless she asks about it, and I will not approach her in a physical way (any physical way, sex, touch, kiss, hug, anything) I will wait until she comes to me. This way I am not exerting any attempts to control her, I am not invading her space and I am left alone to deal with my crap that is obviously bothering her so much.
I realize this is probably a very retarded approach to the situation, but that's about all I've got right now as talking about it gets me into a mess as well.