A piece of me
All of a sudden I find myself in a world that never even existed to me. A situation started purely for sexual satisfaction for myself has turned into something I never imagined. I have fallen in love with a married couple. I have never felt so comfortable or right in my life. That alone scares me to death because shouldn’t this feel wrong?
I continue on and one day she asks me to be their girlfriend and I am so delighted. I am so happy, so of course I say yes. I want this like nothing else. Even when they ask me to be committed to them and only them; I agree. Until that moment I was lost in wonderment about this situation. When they asked me to commit to them that is what made me hungry for knowledge. So I goggled and read and read some more. I had no idea this polyamorous life existed.
It’s been about 2 months of being committed and we have had our discussions and one brief situation that took all three of us really talking to sort out everyone’s feelings. I’ve told a few friends and I’ve had good responses as well as hurtful ones like I am their toy and why would you go into something like this when you walk away alone. Of course it’s hurtful and makes me question everything. Of course I am scared and I don’t want to get hurt, but this feels so right to me. I tell myself even monogamous relationships come with risks and I should enjoy the present and not worry. They assure me that they’re in this for the long haul and I have become very important in their life. They both are great to me.
Since this is so new and since not many are open to the idea I am filled with questions and it sometimes feel like nobody to talk to. Sometimes I just want to be heard and talk things out like any other friendship, but I feel like because they don’t exactly approve I can’t complain because that makes them right. But in all actuality all relationships have things to talk out, but it doesn’t make them bad. This has been the easiest yet most complex situation I have ever been involved in.
I guess this is a bit of my story. I am glad I found this group and if anyone has any questions or advice I’d love to hear it. Forgive me if I sound na´ve or I use the wrong terms or whatever. Again I am very new to all this even the concept. Thanks for reading.
Last edited by VernalBliss; 02-04-2010 at 03:27 AM.