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Old 07-15-2013, 01:07 AM
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bruisepristne bruisepristne is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 28
Default Gratitude

Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that today, has progressively gotten better. With the trauma I experienced a few weeks ago,(I had a miscarriage and surgery) things have been more emotionally charged just in general than they usually are. I posted in the introductions forum how since the miscarriage I have been a lot more insecure & just unsure in general since that happened & am trying to work through it.
My BF isn't a dick, he is usually very compassionate and sensitive and supportive. I wouldn't be walking this road with him if I thought otherwise.
I believe perhaps, the thought in his head didn't translate to what came out of his mouth & that the celebratory champagne and cocktails we had contributed to that.
In any event, I believe we will both be more cautious and considerate when asking and answering questions in the future.
I also wanted to respond to Dirtclustit's response...you wrote a lot of things that when I am at my lowest points would think and maybe even say. However, I have to believe that if there is some underlying issue going on that he is going to talk to me about it. I was in one relationship where I had to pull pretty much everything out of my partner & it was one of the things that ended us. My BF is nothing like that, and I am going to have to trust him & trust that if something is going on, he will address it with me. One of the things I am learning about relationships since we rekindled ours in a different way is that if I don't trust my partner and don't believe in them, the relationship is ultimately doomed. I am one of those people who is constantly picking things apart to death, over analyzing everything and constantly questions myself and other people. This is obviously something I do not like about myself, and am working hard to change/stop it. It serves no purpose but to torture the thinker, and takes away the joy and peace of the moment, day or even week depending. I am kind of grateful that poly challenges that on a whole new level because it gives me greater opportunity to work on it, and myself.
Anyway, thank you, every single one of you for being there in this cyber-land for someone you don't even know. Your responses have brought me greater peace, laughter, validation and even a few tears. I am grateful for it all, and all of you.
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"If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies & it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation." -Osho
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