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Old 07-15-2013, 12:56 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,274
Default First Date!

So, our "co-habitating open poly vee" is just over two years old and going well. We've learned a lot about ourselves and our relationships.

Time for the next step...the next incline in the learning curve. At the two year mark we started talking about Dude starting to "actively" date (not that he couldn't have dated before - but he was not really "looking"). For the last three months he has been gradually working on his OKCupid profile and starting to message people as we talked about our concerns and personal boundaries as we enter this next phase of our poly lives.

He's had a number of very nice conversations with women (and sometimes their partners). And...tonight he is out on his first date! I'm, right now, in a pretty relaxed place. The timing seems very fortunate.

Dude and I had the weekend together alone - as MrS was at a music festival with MrClean. We had lots of interesting conversations, good sex, and bonding. MrS came home from the festival in a great mood - he got lots of attention from the sexy hippie chicks - dancing and flirting to music that he loves.

Before Dude left for his date, we showered together and held each other (and stuff). As he was leaving he looks me in the eyes and asks "Would you like it if I came home tonight?" Yes, yes I would - so, after a moment's hesitation, I said "Yes". I like how he phrased the question as a "preference" and not "permission". The hesitation stemmed from my own desire to live up to my ideal as a "perfect poly girlfriend" - but I decided to go easy on myself and just answer the damn question.

After Dude left, I showered MrS and he led me off to the bedroom for our own re-connection happy sex time. MrS and I don't have sex all that often - so this is really a special thing for me. He always does seem to time it for when it does me the most good (plus, he was all charged up from his weekend ).

So...I am feeling - calm. satisfied. happy. good about myself. good about my boys. good about our relationships.

I am also feeling good about the woman that he is going out with. She is not that much younger than us, bisexual, polyamorous as well as being very smart and very interesting. Whether or not they hit it off - I'm sure that Dude will have a great time.

Deep far so good.

UPDATE: (since I am in the 12 hour window) Dude called me a few hours ago when he was on his way home and let me know he was on his way and that he had a good time and that she was just as smart and interesting as we thought - but even cuter in real life. Since he's gotten home we've been talking and sharing. I hope that she had as good of a time as he did.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 07-15-2013 at 04:32 AM.
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