Originally Posted by Marcus
Originally Posted by bruisepristine
Originally Posted by bruisepristne View Post
I got all dressed up, researched restaurants and menus so he could sit across the table and daydream about someone else?
Doing something nice for someone shouldn't come with expectation. I dated a girl who, when I wasn't doing something she wanted would bring up "but what about all of the nice things I've done for you". This is not a kind act, but a down payment for the expectation of future payout. If I do something nice for someone that's it, there isn't any return expected. If I'm trying to get something from someone and I need to do something nice to get it... is that really a kind gesture anymore? Or is it just my putting down a payment to get something I want?
Why use a parable or comparison that detracts from the meaning? This doesn't have anything to do with expectation or manipulative trapping of a person by attempting to to make them feel obligated.
It's not even close to the same situation. It was him being a complete prick to a person that was trying to create a special dinner on his birthday. If that is the kind of shit he pulls I hope she would know better after it happened a second time. If it's hit and miss and she still thinks he is worth being friends with, the least he do is tell her
"I am in one of my asshole moods tonight, I am disrespectful and bitter and looking to hurt you, but I don't want to take responsibility for it, but since you know me well enough by now you know it's not possible, so rather then ruin a wonderful dinner I will at least be respectful so that you don't waste you time and money tonight. "
I just don't see how a person could not be aware of their behavior and honestly claim innocence if it happened like the OP described. I would be much more inclined to think the prick is pissed about something, but too much of a spineless bastard to say, so instead he will stare off into space until she asks him what's going on, then he can stab her in the heart for whatever piddly bullshit misunderstanding he is probably blaming her for making him feel.
Everybody does stupid things, ignorantly passive aggressive esp when they try to maintain their cool but cannot live up to it.
Hopefully I am wrong, but it sounds like there were too many things he would have had to be consciously aware of for him to claim he is just being his authentic self.
So don't let him use this as an excuse to later claim he finds it hard to tell you the truth because of this incident. We all have mood swings , but to not admit that it's more a case of you being hurt when he is being a prick begins to cross the line of dishonesty, unless of course his authentic self is an asshole