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Old 07-14-2013, 09:40 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default not to jump to conclusions

but that is strange and would ask him if he honestly had any intention of purposely behaving in ways so that he could tell you that information and have it be your fault. Because that was taking being an asshole to the extreme.That's exactly the type of behavior that ruins Polyships.

but on the other hand, if you have to pretend he doesn't have those feelings on occasion, it will cause problems later (although hopefully he won't rub your face in it reminding you during the time your time with him)

If you can talk with him about it in ways so that he can understand, than the at least the hurt won't be for nothing. If it can be used to prevent a more severe repeat scenario, these mistakes can be healing. If Birthday dinner means it doesn't happen on your anniversary, then it's good you got it out of the way.

In general though, I think it is a better idea to not hurt you before you ask the question (if that makes sense) LR is right, you really need to be careful asking questions if you know the answer will hurt. But if he is going to give you a chance to retract it , I think saying

"it makes me uncomfortable to think of my lovers in comparison, do we have to discuss this now?"

is much better than

"you don't want to know the answer to that question" because the first way of asking "are you sure?" doesn't insinuate the answer you don't want to hear

but your situation was different, as you didn't ask about kissing or comparisons, you simply asked what he was thinking

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 07-14-2013 at 09:58 AM. Reason: typos
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