Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
First off, I think it speaks boldly to the misunderstandings most people have about sexuality - especially in connection with love & relationships. The whole concept that a single individual will enjoy and be capable of matching/satisfying any other single persons sexual preferences - especially over a long period of time is basically flawed from the start. It's like saying any two (or even more?) people would be expected to always be in the same mood, same state of mind at all times. Totally unrealistic.
To hold something like that up as an expectation for a good - or great, relationship is a prescription for conflict & disaster. But that's the 'old' model and people still do that !
With all due respect GS,
Yet again I find the blanket generalizations based on personal opinions to be bluntly irritating but I understand the need to justify this internally. The "old model" is practiced by the vast majority of the population so I don't see it as old
at all. That implies there is some new way on the quick rise. Non-monogamy is far from the new way, it is however a viable different way.
These kind of "MY way is right and yours is wrong" statements are what perpetuate conflicts. Not to hi-jack this thread but if non-monogamy is to achieve better acceptance this type of negative argument approach has got to be abandoned in my opinion. They do more harm than good, they darken and not enlighten.
If these types of statements can trigger someone who has been in a loving multi-partner relationship for over a year and who surrounds himself in the poly community, imagine what it does to the vast majority who are not.
We just spoke about looking at effective and non-aggressive/non-defensive ways to present "poly" during our last monthly meeting.
You don't impress your neighbours with your house by tearing theirs down and saying "here, look at how much better mine is". You build your own house with a solid foundation and quality and the structure will speak for itself.
Seriously if your platform to reform is feeling superior than you've already failed.
That's my rant for the day....nothing personal, just frustrated.
Peace and love