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Old 02-01-2010, 02:01 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi Seasnail,

Hey - sounds like you are approaching this in a thoughtful & balanced way.
Good start

It's unfortunate that your first steps got off to a rough start but be advised that's maybe the rule rather than the exception As you said, the fact that even the concept was very new to everyone adds to the chances for stumbles. But think about it - is it any different with anything new we tackle in life ? We get skinned knees, we heal and get better.

Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
......and even though there was so much hurt, I grieved to see her go, because I came to love her too.
Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
I like the casual way my BF can sit between us and give us each a hand to hold, and I like co-supporting him when he's had a rough day.
Yea - this is the 'good stuff'. That feeling of connection that draws people to the lovestyle. More closeness, more support etc.

Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
I really don't like the change process.
Humans don't like change. Always a little scary.
Until we 'get' there. Then (hopefully) it's all worth it.

Yea - the 'affair' situation always leaves a hook of uncertainty (for awhile) but like I mentioned earlier - it's not an uncommon way right now that people get launched into this lovestyle. It's just because of lack of awareness in society and as unacceptable as it may be - it's where we are for the most part as a culture. Give it it's little place, but don't put more emphasis on it than you would any other learning curve. The uncertainty it adds to moving down this path will go away as you learn & practice more.

You seem like you have a good start, developed some tools to help (the signals etc) and are talking as you go. Keep that up and I bet you'll be just fine.

Good luck !

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