You know, I really didn't think about it like that, but you are right. I grew up in a tough love household. I was always told no matter what the situation to 'suck it up & keep moving' so I think I still unconsciously operate on that level. My therapist now said to me once after I said something I thought was totally benign, 'Wow, you are brutal...to yourself...'
I know I will get through the loss, I am already starting g to feel a little more like myself, and I am grateful for all the support I have. I think I need to keep working and learning on the parts of myself that get angry when I can't control my emotions. I am a way better helper than help-ee...!
Even though I know it's okay to need help, and I relish in every opportunity to be there for someone who needs me, I need to remember it is okay to ask for a hand every now and then.
Thank you so much. I have only been on here one day & already feel like I am not alone, and that I don't have to walk this poly road by myself.
"If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies & it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation." -Osho