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Old 07-11-2013, 11:38 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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perhaps telling him that I don't want to hear about their fights anymore is the solution. I worry about not being supportive if I do that


Quote:
You aren't his therapist and you clearly don't have the ability to emotionally separate yourself from his situation. So again, if you don't tell him that you can't handle it then you are volunteering to be a part of the problem and to carry around the baggage.
Sometimes the best way to be "supportive" is to butt out. My Spouse does standup comedy and does not want me at their shows (this has nothing to do with the ex also being from that circle of people - this has beenn the case since the day we met, almost) for reasons which make sense to both of us (and frankly, I don't WANT to go to those shows. I know how funny S is. We live together. I get to see "funny" all the time. I don't need to go to their fucking shows. I have other things to do instead), but other people (such as S's siblings) are always saying like, "I wannt to see one of S's shows, do you like them?" And I'm like "Well um... yeah, I like them, but I don't attend them." and they get all "But doesn't S WAAAAAANT your SUPPORT?" Then I have to explain that I support S by NOT going. Couples, Couples, couples. People act like just because you're married, if you're not spending every scrap of spare time together, there must be Trouble in Paradise.
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