Not all women are obsessed with cock, big cocks, hard cocks, etc.
Learn to use your tongue effectively, buy some good vibrators, learn how to stimulate a g-spot with your fingers, look into tantra... there are a LOT of ways to please a woman that don't require an erect penis.
My husband can't always get erect, especially if he's tired or has something on his mind. That has never stopped us from having a very satisfying sex life. He can move energy in ways that make me shudder with pleasure, without even taking off our clothes. He can do things with his hands that wake up the neighbours. I used to have a boyfriend who didn't really like intercourse but was an absolute god with his tongue.
Bottom line is, your ability to please women isn't tied to your penis. You can learn a lot of techniques to get her off. As for your own satisfaction, you may want to experiment with something like prostate stimulation.
I do not need a label to define me. Labels are sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.