Poly partner's partner doesn't know
I am in a poly relationship with a man I love very much. He has one partner who is a wonderful woman and I have no problem WHATSOEVER with, we talk all the time and I think she is great. The problem is that he also has another partner who does not know about me, and who thinks that she is his only love. This drives me CRAZY!
He met her a little bit before he met me, and he didn't tell me about her. I found out by accident, and I was very hurt. He says she is no threat to me, and that he will not dump me for her, but he won't leave her either. He cannot tell her about me because she would dump him.
I am very jealous of her and I don't know how to stop it. Things are great between us when we are together, and he only sees the other girl when I am at work (just the way our schedules happen to work out). So why am I so upset? Is it just fallout from the way he deceived me? Is it because I am afraid she will find out and give him an ultimatum? I am so angry sometimes. I feel like this is tainting our relationship. I sometimes think of breaking up with him, but I can't, I love him. i just don't know what to do.