Originally Posted by Sandy
After reading the Ethical Slut, my boyfriend and I drew up and discussed our own safety rules. For example, one of his rules for me that makes him feel more secure is that I am not allowed to hold hands with the guys I sleep with. That is reserved for us alone. Which by the way is another thing that may make you feel less jealous. Maybe you can have some special act or even affectionate nickname that only you two share.
Sandy makes a very valid point in which I completely agree with...that something special that only you two share can make a large impact in the war against jealousy! I too have read "the ethical slut" which if I may say so myself was a moving read and gave me the foundation needed to understanding "my poly"
My bounderies, rules and regulations are ever changing but not without purpose...yours should be too! You want to try things...then and only then can you truely know what works for you! The key here in my opinion is fluidness, communication, experimentation and honesty (no one ever gained anything worth while through lies)
Changing your internal programming can be hard, I know! Monogamy is what we know, it's what's familiar to us...sometimes when we're scared we just go back to what we know, that warm and all-too-popular "box" but if you're a forward thinking person like my intuition tells me you are then you can understand that regression serves no purpose and evolution only brings out the best in us! The fact that you've taken a second look at the lifestyle rather than fleeing tells me that something within is telling you to move forward, a little voice in your head must be whispering that maybe just maybe there's something here worth investigating...follow that voice because it just might lead you to a beautiful, worth wild, loving, long term relationship!
Ps. When in doubt just remember...nothing in life worth having ever came easy