Going Poly with ED problems?
I'm 21 and following a serious illness in my past I have moderate ED. To elaborate: I can (more or less) have sex, but I do not always come and I need heavy stimulation for "it" to work. Sometimes it doesn't get up when it should and sometimes it stops working during intercourse. Oral doesn't do anything for me at all - I can feel the pleasure, but the stimulation is too light for me to get an erection. I'm still getting over the whole ordeal emotionally.
So far I still haven't discussed it with my partner even though we have regular sex (or as close to sex as I can get...) . I'm her first boyfriend so she doesn't have much to compare me with (and perhaps it's the reason why she did not make a huge deal out of it yet) though I'm pretty sure that she more-or-less realizes that something is off.
Anyway, we've decided to go poly recently and that opened up a whole huge can of insecurities within me. While I've always been poly and am very keen on it, I am very insecure about my ability to 'please' both women, so to speak. My gf has a very high sex drive (higher than mine really) and it's sometimes difficult to cope with it as it is. If I have two girlfriends I am afraid of what might happen if at somepoint "it" stops working at the wrong time or place. Of course I intend to speak about this with my girlfriend, I just need to work out the issue for myself first.
So, I'm wondering how big of an issue is my problem for my future relationships? Finding a woman to join our poly relationship seems like a challenging task as it is, what will her reaction be when she finds out about my ED? Is it feasible at all, or will they loose interest if my "ability" is not up to their standard?
This is my first time discussing this with anyone and I feel VERY insecure about the whole thing. So hope to hear some replies from you all!