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Old 07-10-2013, 03:16 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,857

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
This I agree with wholeheartedly. I have absolutely no idea why everybody is so utterly fixated on PIV sex. I like it, for sure. Like it loads. But, it's just one way of having sex. There are loads and loads of others and I don't agree at all with the idea that unless you are having PIV sex, it isn't proper sex.
Felt the need to comment, because this follows with a few conversations that I have had recently regarding my "cheating" (self-delusional, jack-assed) start with Dude. A number of people have expressed the opinion that they didn't see what I did (outlined in my "Journey" blog here) as being "so bad" because we didn't "actually" have sex (apparently, because nobody's genitals were ever in direct contact with any body part of the other person - regardless of orgasms).

Originally Posted by AnotherConfused View Post
... and maybe the same kind of touch from C that excites me will just annoy me from my husband.
This could actually be true! I respond differently to the same kind of touch from each of my boys. A given action from MrS might feel...tender, loving , sensual - while the same action from Dude might feel...demanding, manipulative, over-eager. How can this be? Because you have a different relationship/history with each person.

So? Nuzzling my neck and kissing me behind the earlobes. MrS does this once in a while...makes me melt. He is NOT a very physical/sensual/sexual when HE does this thing, my brain snaps to attention. Dude does the same thing... 4-5 times a day, when he is horny, which is always. Eventually, it feels like he is trying to push my "ON" button to get HIS desires met. The same action is no longer as much of a turn-on: maybe it just tickles instead...

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Hands/mouths get tired, things chafe -- it's not a big deal around here to just announce "Time to change! Leg cramp!" or "Need more lube!" or something and just shift things around and keep enjoying the sex share.
KERSNORT! One of the things that our "romantic love= blissfull sex" culture fails to educate people on is how FUNNY sex is sometimes. The cultural delusion of : two virgins fall in love, get married, and somehow magically know how to have the best sex ever right from the start...orgasms all around, every time...because you "LLLLL....UUUUUUU...VVV...EEEE" each other.

(Note: this is from what I have gleaned from comments of many people over the years - I never, personally, bought into this meme - so I bypassed this disillusionment.)

Know what? People fart. Vaginas get dry (I have a "lube in every room" story floating around here somewhere). Vibrator batteries die at crucial moments. Sometimes you end up laughing so hard that the "tender" flies out the window and you hold each other laughing's all good. Try again in a bit ... (if you ever manage to stop giggling!)


There may have been a point to this post initially...I have lost it...will just let it stand.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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