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Old 07-10-2013, 02:41 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by WhatNow View Post
So my boyfriend is getting a divorce. What is the best advice for handling him? I despise the idea of him screwing every female that moves, I am honestly afraid of that.
First of all -- handle him? Sheesh, isn't that a rather insulting way to talk about him - that he needs handling? Like how a politician has handlers who fend off and steer people into certain directions in order to protect the politician. That is so... manipulative.

Second of all, what makes you think that divorce = screwing around? I highly doubt that in the midst of such emotional upheaval, that would be his goal. However, if he does want to seek release with someone else, what business is it of yours? You manage your relationship, he manages his.

Thirdly, if you have an agreement to polyfidelity, andnow you're afraid that his divorce means that is null and void, why are you coming here and asking how to handle him when you can be talking to him about it? "Honey, I know you're going through a lot right now, and I just want you to know that if you feel the need to renegotiate our agreements, I am here for you and willing to listen." What's so hard about that?

Originally Posted by WhatNow View Post
How do I handle all this?
Okay,a much better question and vastly different from how do you handle him. But I have to admit, your attitude is startling. He is going through a break-up, the end of his long-term marriage, and all you can think about is yourself and how it will affect you?

Try compassion.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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