Thread: Hello :)
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:24 AM
xotheladyxo's Avatar
xotheladyxo xotheladyxo is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 26

Originally Posted by northhome View Post
I notice you use the word 'we' a lot. That is, for me, a red flag of warning.

What happens when you discover that you have a different relationship to this new person than your partner does? What happens when it is no longer 'we' but instead a complex 4 relationship situation (AB, BC, AB and ABC)?

The reality is that most people who have a relationship that identifies as 'we', rather than two individuals sharing SOME aspects of their lives, are often co-dependent (you might go do some research on that if you don't recognise the term).

Bringing a third person into a co-dependent relationship is, trust me, not a recipe for long-term success.
Yes, I do use "we" a lot, but I also use "my husband and I" a lot also. I just don't like to sound too repetitive. That doesn't mean that I don't recognize that my husband and I are separate people and are going to have separate relationships even if we did find a triad. Also, we have decided not to seek out a triad, but to date separately. When I start trying to meet other women then it will be "I" that is seeking them out and "I" they will have to have chemistry with. When I do start a relationship with someone and she becomes by girlfriend then she and I will become "we" just as my husband and I are "we". I understand the difference.
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