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Old 07-10-2013, 12:58 AM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 264

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I know you and your husband were seeing a therapist for a while. Has that continued?

I also think it's important to try not to compare, but what I hear most in your posts is your resentment...

So, I would say ya gotta look at your expectations, & find a way to let go of resentments.
We stopped therapy because the sessions weren't helping. We'd go in and dredge up all our problems and the therapist never gave us much more than, "Do you hear what she's saying?" and "I think what he's trying to convey is that..." but we usually left feeling much worse than when we started, with no pointers on what to do with a the unearthed pain. I thought maybe books would be more useful this time.

Resentment... Guilty! I think that's what's eating me. I'm resenting him for not being everything he's not, when I know in my head that what he is, is someone amazing. I really wish he had poly leanings himself. I feel like a little jealousy at my end would do me good. I watch him dance sometimes and see the happy looks on the faces of these lovely young women who seek him out, and it helps me not get irritated with him on the dance floor. Something similar in our sex life would be good. (Not that I want to watch him have sex with other people, but if he went out sometimes, and came back glowing, it might do me good to see it.) But he's monogamous through and through, and I need to accept that too.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs
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