View Single Post
  #21  
Old 07-09-2013, 08:12 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Haltom City, TX
Posts: 1,289
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherConfused View Post
I felt like it was being misread as "Given this paragraph about my 14 year marriage, do you think he's worth staying with?"
Another quick clarification. I am not suggesting that you necessarily end your marriage. My view of relationships is that they are not static, but in a constant state of flux. Some relationships can go on for years without really having major changes but that is just dumb luck, imo, and is not a reflection on what a reasonable expectation is. As people learn and grow, mature and change hormonally they *will* change.

If IV and I stop being sexually interested in each other that will cause us to change the nature of how we relate. To many that means "breaking up" but I don't live in an all-or-nothing world when it comes to my relationships. It might change how much time we spend together or the nature of how our time is spent, but wanting to fuck each other is not intrinsically related to loving and being committed to each other.

My assertion is that you would be better off by not clinging to a dynamic that is not working. If it needs to change, let it change. Among adults relationships should be allowed to shift and adjust according to the development of the people in them (not arbitrary time limits or titles). And if they are no longer bringing joy to the lives of those involved I think they should be adjusted until they are - and yes, even if that means dissolving the association completely.
__________________
Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
Reply With Quote