View Single Post
Old 07-09-2013, 07:57 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,481

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
I would probably try to concentrate on what your husband does do that you really like (or did do that you really liked) and encourage more of that.
Too true. All to often peoples first instinct seems to be to change their partner to suit their particular needs. It's kind of like thinking of a partner like they are a Barbie to be dressed up and modified to fit a specific role.

People are not built that way. When it comes to sex (as with anything else) some people are passive, some are assertive, some like lights on and some don't. The goal should be to enjoy what *is* good (as has already been said a number of times) and not to get them to change to fit an arbitrary quantity of whatever.

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
There are loads of reasons why PIV sex might be off the table - wish to avoid pregnancy 100%, an STI, ED, religious beliefs, an agreement with another partner. I don't see why it should cause a major problem or be a particular focus.
I for one do not have an opinion about what people do or don't do with their genitals; it is not my business. What I do have an opinion about and have expressed is the insistence that rules for how a partner should behave are going to help bring about a more harmonious relationship. The fact that this particular relationship has a rule banning something is what I call dumb and counterproductive... it is not hinged upon the PIV sex part.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote