Originally Posted by Anneintherain
I'd stop trying to change your husband to be what you want and accept what he does offer sexually, and take it or leave it. If he doesn't want to change actively, its a waste of time to push for that. Comparing sexual dynamics between partners is a lose-lose situation.
That said David Schnarch
has a lot of good books about the subject, I own a few of them.
Thank you. I will definitely look for these books.
I know comparing partners is bad. At the same time, I find myself asking, "What is it that I want him to be doing? What kind of touch/words/action will get me excited?" and my point of reference is the relationship in which I do get turned on easily. But yeah, they are just vastly different people, and maybe the same kind of touch from C that excites me will just annoy me from my husband.