Thread: Hello :)
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Old 07-08-2013, 02:59 PM
xotheladyxo's Avatar
xotheladyxo xotheladyxo is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 26

No, nycindie, my husband is not my child or employee or anything that I would control. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I meant that I would like to think that I would be comfortable with it and wouldn't have any conflicting feelings about him having a separate relationship. Not that I would give him permission to do so. I apologize again for my wording.

Yes, Natja, that does make sense. I just meant that I didn't want veto power to be an option in the relationship. I would much rather talk, and make decisions as the three of us instead of being the one that puts the end to things because I am unhappy.

I'm realizing I am horrible at articulating what I mean.

If my husband and I found a woman together and it only worked out that one of us really hit it off with her then I would like to think that it would be okay. That we would all be comfortable with it and it could branch off and all be okay. I want to think there would be no jealousy or any issues. I really think that I would be comfortable in the situation, but I'm not positive my husband would be as comfortable if she and I were the ones that ended up hitting it off and things didn't quite work out with them. The whole reason I thought it would be better to do this as a couple instead of dating separately was because I thought it would be easier on my husband. He is open minded to polyamory, we have had many discussions where he agrees that this should be the normal way of things, HOWEVER he has a hard time with jealousy. Should we (or I) just avoid polyamory all together because he is a jealous person? Should I not bother involving another person into a relationship where he might get upset and uncomfortable and then no longer allow me to see her? (And that time I meant allow) I would be comfortable dating separately, but I'm not sure my husband would be. No, I have not even suggested this to him so I don't know for sure how he will react, but he is my husband and I know him pretty well and I don't think he would go for it. . .What do I do then?
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