SO the guy I was talking to, the one that may be just friends... we are together and I actually think I'm in the early stages of love. He's awesome, and a more perfect compliment to John than anyone before. This is what I've been looking for so long, trying and failing and getting myself hurt because I wanted this so badly. And I have the amazing guy now that is gentle and rough at all the right times. and he and john are friends now and it seems that everything will work out. After N, I needed something caring and positive. So even if it doesnt work out, I've had a very positive experience!
It has brought issues of course, NRE has been out of control, but I'm getting it there. We are starting to settle into the long term part of the relationship, and we've setup a schedule of seeing each other so I get plenty of time with John. John and I are leaving town for two months, so if this guy... H... and I can make it through the separation then I think we will be good.
We will see what happens.
Oh, and John and M have had some problems, but they are still together!