I have to be honest in saying I don't understand how it is possible to love two people intimately, which is a totally different thing than the love of multiple children to me (I used to use that argument with my mono friends until I realized I didn't believe it myself LOL!...the sexual aspect of intimate love sets it apart).
I do know it is possible! In order for me to accept that my Life Love could indeed have these feelings for more than one person I had to see Redpepper and her husband together. There is no doubt in my mind that she loves both of us immensely. I see it in her eyes. That is all I need
In my case, as a monogamous person in a polyamorous relationship, many differences between the two natures are overcome with acceptance and not understanding. This does not mean I tolerate the differences
(that would be fake and not sustainable) but means I trust that they are right and healthy for my partner
. Just like she trusts that my nature is right and healthy for me.
Hope this makes sense and I love the direction you are taking your poly relationship. The deep connection and family is truly what I love to see
Best of luck