About security and insecurity, jealousy and freedom
I feel very secure about the love of both my partners. It has been so for most of the time in both relationships, the moments of insecurity have been short and due to some misunderstandings. Jealousy is something I have never experienced myself.
Both my guys have had their share of both insecurity and jealousy within our relationship. It has been a tough one to try to reassure them about my love and commitment, especially since I cannot relate to how it is to feel such things and when to me it seems totally illogical and unnecessary. Guess I have managed somehow, though, since they both still want to be with me.
Here on these forums (and elsewhere in life and online) I read often about fear of losing a partner. Especially fear of losing them to someone else. This is definitely something I have never experienced in my life. Those moments of insecurity that I mentioned earlier have been more like “OMG didn’t I communicate clearly enough what I meant, has this relationship been built on false premises altogether??!!” Some more communication and issue cleared. To me, it has even on those moments been clear that I stay true to myself rather that stay in a relationship that does not let me do that. Luckily, these two relationships that I have now are good and solid enough for me to feel safe and appreciated as the person I am.
I do not understand the whole point of losing a loved one to someone else. Guess I am so poly throughout that it does not make sense to me whatsoever that you would leave your loved one just because you fell for another person, too. Or, on the other hand: why stay in such a relationship that is so easily replaceable? I only stay with my partners because they are so very special to me and I know for sure that I will not find anything better no matter how hard I’d search. This is what I expect of my partners as well; that they stay with me because they want to from the bottom of their hearts. If they ever find out that they’d rather not stay with me, I am willing to let them go. Not without huge heartache, but anyway. They need to be as free as I am to make choices regarding their own lives.