London: Thank you. This is exactly the type of advice/info I'm looking for!!
Your first line is exactly why we really haven't "started" anything. We're talking. Discussing. Getting closer to each other. If/when we START this life, we'll all be on the same page.
And the "guinea pig" concept has been discussed, too...neither of them want me to be that or feel that way.
I'm in love with him/he with me. BUT... with total respect to the life they've had for so many years, we're not rushing into anything. Thus why we haven't just had an affair. He and I have engaged in some making out, etc, which she is totally fine with and actually encourages.
She's an amazing woman. Truly. I adore her, and am enjoying getting to know her better. She's the same way with me. And we all see what we all "do" for each other as a very close friendship bonds between us.
Again, thank you, London.