Wow...lots of negativity. I understand some of it, but maybe it's due to only giving a very few facts.
Well, let me clarify some things...
This is ALL new to all of us. Monogamy has been all of our way of life. We are all in or 40s. Their marriage has been a long one. And I've been in my share of long-term relationships.
My introduction came off like she was being controling. She's really not, she's actually being very welcoming and amazing. But think about it, for all of us to think about a life of poly is very new. So, when I said she's thinking of "allowing," it may have come off like she's "in charge," but, it's only because the thought of welcoming me into their life this way is very new, and she ( we all ) need time to soak this in and consider everything. Again, NONE of us have ever experienced this kind of life, or even knew it existed beyond fun "threesomes" that you hear about, until recently. As I said in my first message, to find that this is more common than thought is very comforting.
I'm in a place in my life that I will enjoy my independence as well as the family that I'll have with them.
We're in a VERY early stage of this...and we talk a lot about everything. Not just me and the husband, but all of us. What it would mean in the long term. what the logistics of things would be. Etc.. Believe me, it's not something we're jumping into. This is why I've decided to participate in this forum, for information and advice.
I understand it's quick to judge and jump all over my first message with complete negativity, and I appreciate that it was meant to "protect" me from heartache, etc. However, we haven't entered into this life yet. It's a very close relationship, with a lot of conversation and openess. And it's also something I'm NOT willing to shut the door on. I want to explore, move forward and see where this will go. I am the happiest I've been in my years. There must be something RIGHT about this.