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Old 07-05-2013, 10:24 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,179

Originally Posted by Icewraithonyx View Post
I edited from "pro-cheating" to "cheating-tolerant". Better?
No, it sounds like you're saying that lots of people here condone cheating. Is that something you gathered from this thread, or elsewhere? There is a world of difference between forgiving the cheater in order to move on and tolerating cheating, which I am certain most members here would not do, myself included. I wouldn't put up with it.

Sometimes it is impossible to forgive and no reconciliation can be made. But if healing and reconciling the relationship is the goal, then compassion and forgiveness toward both cheater and cheatee (you know, as in not beating oneself up for not seeing or beleiving the warning signs, etc.) is necessary, I believe.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 07-05-2013 at 10:31 PM.
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