View Single Post
  #7  
Old 07-05-2013, 09:59 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,033
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
On that note I would say there is a difference between disliking spending time with someone who is always texting and playing on their phone and having an issue with them texting a particular party.
Absolutely right!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
If someone finds it rude for me to be on my phone while we are hanging out they are entitled to tell me their preference and I can respond however I feel is appropriate for me. I'm not fond of being told how I should behave so that might not get a very warm welcome but they are entitled to ask.
How rude it is to be texting other people all depends on the scenario, I think.

I have no problem if someone says, "Oh, excuse me, I was waiting for this message and I have to reply," or "I need to take this call," once in a while. But generally, I feel that anyone who is in my company and focused on their phone is giving me a clear message - that they would rather be somewhere else or with someone else. That, to me, is rude.

If it is important to someone to be with me, then I would expect to have their attention and for them to be with me. If it is so important to be texting that other person, go do it but don't expect me to excuse you, and sit around to wait until you're done. Why shouldn't someone I am with at least be paying attention to the person who is in the same room with them? It isn't that big of a deal if we're just hanging around at home, someone doing laundry, the other working on their car or something, occasionally raiding the fridge, and whatnot. However, why should I stick around for someone to hold a private communication with another person while I sit there with my thumb up my ass just waiting, when we are out for the evening or scheduled that time to spend with each other? I would speak up and if it does no good, then either leave or ask them to leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
However, if someone doesn't want me talking to "her" because that makes them feel insecure... well... that's a different discussion entirely. At that point it isn't a matter of accommodating a preference, it is about my changing my actions to placate their insecurities.
I agree with you there.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote