Originally Posted by xotheladyxo
I have done my research, and thank you Natja, I have read that post as well as several other so I know the common mistakes that couples like my husband and I usually make. We don't want to make those mistakes. '
You are welcome, please do keep reading because there are lots to learn, it might seem minor or even romantic but please be aware of using terms like 'looking for someone to join/or add to our (your) relationship' and 'to complete us'
We're looking for another person, another individual, to join our relationship to make it more complete
The reasons are because we connect with people as individuals, no one can 'come into' what you have with your partner, that relationship (dyad) is unique and fully complete, no one wants to fill an incomplete space, what another person can
do, is relate to you each
and create a special dyad with each of you, so there will be four relationship dynamics. You and him, he and her and you and her and the dynamic which is all three of you when you are together. This is a totally unique dynamic, it is not one merely her 'added' to yours.
It is the repeated use of these phrases, even after you said you read David Noble's article, that might get people's backs up, they are just simply not pleasant things to read.
I hope this helps and does not offend you, like I said, it really does pay to keep reading and then maybe you might realise why so many people are hostile to this particular dynamic.