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Old 07-05-2013, 06:06 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
Cindie, when did I apply Swinging to Polyamory? I've never even implied that idea. You may need to review what was posted.
I didn't say you were applying the word "swinging" to polyamory - I was pinpointing the word "lifestyle." It is often used in relation to swinging or BDsm, but there really isn't any way to apply the word to poly, since poly can be a part of many, varied lifestyles. So, to compare this forum to online dating sites or "lifestyle clubs" made me ask what you meant by it. That is all. It also conveyed the sense that you might not have been aware of the fact that most poly people, who may never have been involved in swinging, wouldn't even know what a lifestyle club is! People's experiences with poly can be very far removed from that kind of scene.

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
First - My wife & I have both been poly our entire lives.
Well, goody for you!

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
We've just haven't pursued a poly relationship until now, until she was completely secure our marriage was solid. I had a wild past, & though we love each other wholly, she has to feel certain I was in for the long haul. IMHO my wife was correct in her hesitation, as no couple should simply dive into taking on more people without total security in their current relationship; especially when that couple has children & with a someone from a similar past to mine.
Sounds like a smart approach.

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
If you aim was to teach us about polyamory, there's absolutely nothing we could learn from you Cindie.
I have no intention of teaching anyone, and there is no use in trying to teach someone who is defensive. You misunderstood my intentions, anyway. I only encouraged you to read the forum so you would find out why your post will probably not get many responses. As Natja told you, it is "pretty objectifying." It is also extremely specific. You may want to rethink your strategy.

Plus, I really don't think the personal ads here actually get much traffic. People post ads here all the time, but we've never had any stories of anyone actually meeting someone through the ads here. People have met, however, via participating in discussions on the forum.

BTW, this is what is known as "helpful advice."

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
Second - Never assume to know the thought's of others based on your experiences coupled with a palpable misconstruing of another's words.
I didn't assume anything. You're just a stranger on the internet to me.

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
Third - We came here in good faith, with good intentions. I even gave you the benefit of doubt, even though my wife saw through to your antagonism. By the other posters in this thread we're relieved people like you are the minority here.

Originally Posted by Ramina View Post
Now I've set the record straight for us, we need not continue addressing trolls like Cindie.
Not a troll. I'm a longtime member and regularly receive "thank you" messages from people here for my posts - just received one last night and another today as a matter of fact! I was just trying to be helpful,though perhaps I indulged in a bit of sarcasm. If you are adverse to direct, blunt communicating, then poly might not be for you. But as I said earlier, good luck! I truly mean that!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 07-05-2013 at 06:45 PM.
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